Ready or Not...Here I Come

I wasn't ready.

Woke up today and I wasn't ready to be Laura today.

Was not ready to face the world.

The ugly world that won't leave me alone.

Let me be.

I wasn't ready and it showed.

Got to work and I felt so sad.

It kept growing, my sadness.

Kind of like those toys that you put in water and they grow.

My sadness kept swelling and swelling.

Swelling and swelling.

Until I couldn't hold it anymore.

It exploded like a volcano and I had to run to the restroom.

It became so much that I couldn't stand up.

I thought, "ew restroom floor" but it didn't matter I sat down.

I cried.

I cried.

I tried to stop since you can hear whatever is going in the restroom.

The harder I tried, the harder I cried.

Messaged my mom.

She understands the sadness.

She understands and told me to cry.

Crying is good she said.

So I cried some more.

Then, I stopped.

I thought I was ready.

I faced the office, went to my cubicle.

I wasn't ready.

So, I ran to the restroom and cried some more.

I tried again to face the world and the world won.

So I ran to my car.

The safety of my car.

It worked!

I cried and I stopped and I faced the world.

I'm still fragile but the sadness is not so overwhelming anymore.

It's just there.

I hope it goes away.