Insecurities

It hasn't being even a week since I made my resolution and I am scared.
It's not even going to happen until a year from now!
I can't help it though.
Everything is coming to my head.
Making me nervous.
I'm both super excited and scared shit less.
I am so scared.
Burr.
I want to do it.
I want to cut my hair.
But would I be able to pull it off?
Will be a part of me?
Will I own it?
Or will it own me?
I have a boyish figure.
Not so many curves.
I'm scared I am going to look like a boy.
I'm scared that I am going to look like a boy.
I like boys.
I want boys to like me.
But if I look like one of them they won't like me.
Is that terrible?
I know I'm being insecure.
I know this.
Can't be helped though.
It's impossible for me to imagine my hair that short.
It just not possible.
I'm so scared.
I want to do it though.
I might do it.
I might do it before.
Even if I want to die after.
I'm still going to do it.
I will.
I promise.