A New Experience

Starting this post is harder than I thought. 
This is because I'm not exactly sure what I'm feeling.
I've never been in this position before. 
I've liked people before but it has all been very superficial.
With this one, it's different.
It's differrent.
So different.
When I first met him,  I thought he was obnoxious. 
He would talk during class with his friend. 
They were so loud.
The class was so hard.
The professor had a heavy Chinese accent.
I needed to pay attention but I couldn't. 
Because of them.
I gave them weird looks but I noticed they were fraternity shirts.
One day,  I had been studying by myself the whole day and I saw him sitting by himself.
He was better than studying by myself so I just sat down and introduced myself.
He was ugly. What did I care?
I had a great time.
We talked and he said "blah blah my girlfriend"
Whatever, I thought.
We became friends.
And now it's a year and a half after and I like him.
I dont know why I like him.
But he's nice to me and sweet and funny.
We get along so well.
I enjoy his company.
And this is the problem.
Because he is still with his girlfriend from a long time ago.
I wish I could not like him.
I don't like feelings like this.
Worse?
We could end up working together.
That would mean 40 hours a week together.
So many hours.
I think he might like me.
His attitude has changed.
For the better. 
But he has a girlfriend of 5 years.
I would tell him.
I would tell him if he didn't have a girlfriend.
I would.
It's gotten to that point.
To the point that I feel a need to tell him.
I want him to know.
His response doesn't matter.
I just need to get it off my chest.
He could reject it.
He could accept it.
I don't care.
But I can't.
He has a girlfriend.
I'm not that type of girl.
It would make our friendship awkward.
I want to see him.
I want to tell him.
This is so frustrating.
I like him.
I want him.
Very very much.