disoriented and in a sweat i awoke
to look in the mirror and find silver, glittering rings around my eyes,
my heavy blush was smeared onto my pillow case;
his jeans were on my floor
as well as his t-shirt, dress shirt, belt, coat, and baseball cap;
adorned with my tights and bra.
no, it's not what you think.
last night the roles were reversed in a campus wide called entitled "Drag Ball."
the ladies went as dudes.
the men went as femmes.
as with any dance occasion the process of getting ready proved to be more enthralling than the actual dance itself.
so many things were wrong about that night, however, i can't even pin it down.
starting from friday night where i found myself in a bathtub, helping a guy friend shave his legs
(he decided that if he was going to a lady he'd go all out, of course)
then saturday night came, and i couldn't find anything to wear.
in distress i called upon my guy friend who offered his entire closet to me.
he issued me a disclaimer that most of his clothing was androgynous, if i was going for the macho man look.
in an attempt at modesty, i tried on the first outfit in his empty roommate's room
several outfits later i was undressing and redressing in his room as we conversed as we normally would.
now that i think about it, that was out of character for me.
is this the source of the strange feeling?
i want to say no, i'm just extremely comfortable around him
still it's something i usually wouldn't do.
next strange feeling i recall:
seeing my guy friend in my dress, in heels, in a bra.
doing his makeup made me realize what a beautiful face structure he has
somewhere in between painting his nails and applying mascara and eyeliner i found a new appreciation for him.
just wish that happened under different circumstances.
we took pictures as dates going off to dances usually do
my arm around his waist, his arm on my shoulder.
wait, now that i think about it, that's wrong too..
strangest feeling of them all:
leaving home with 4 people (2 females as males, 2 males as ladiez) whom i had seen gradually be transformed into the opposite sex and walking into a dance hall full of crossed dressed people.
i'd look at one person and think it was a girl i knew, but it was actually a boy i hadn't met.
or when a presumed man walked up to me and made conversation for a while before i realized that it was one of my girl friends.
and couples went as reversed couples, and they tried so hard to fit the other role
it made me very uncomfortable.
it felt surreal. in a sense of the word that i've never thought of before. definitely surreal.
the other girl i had gone with–who was now a dude–shared the feeling.
we decided to leave before an hour was up, because the disorienting feeling was just so uncomfortable.
it made us wonder what that says about us; why the feeling, only appearances and behaviors were reversed?
gawd, i also really hated it when other people complimented my date.
^ seeing that written out made me laugh, i sound like a jealous man.
i think it was the fact that i had seen my date and my two other friends slowly make the transition into the sex that made them being male/female, female/male much less disarming, darling, than it was walking into a room where i knew some people but they were already disguised thus making it difficult to discern who was who.
and so i awoke this morning, still in a state of slight discomfort and confusion.
i don't think i'm doing that again next year.
maybe i'll dress up because that was fun, but i won't go to the dance.
at the end of the night, though, my two guy friends made it a point to say how much they now appreciate all that women do to get ready.
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