Changes

I think it is time for change.
Don't you?
Tweak until perfect.

Nike

I'm the type of person that over thinks.
I over think everything.
It's a good thing and a bad thing.
Mostly bad probably.
Sometimes, I have to stop and take a minute.
A minute to realize that you have one chance to make your life what you want.
No moment repeats itself.
I think people that care too much about what people think or say about them are a little full of themselves.
I have to remind myself of that.
Why should I not do whatever it is I want to do just because I'm afraid of what another person might think of me?
It's dumb.
Being yourself and doing whatever makes you happy is more important than what someone might think.
So I ask myself what's the worst that could happen?
Realize that it's nothing.
And then Nike.
Just do it.

small town life: day 4

this place is so depressing.
---

i've met so many girls my age who look 10 years older and have one or two kids by now.

the only redemption is the pool and hot tub at my hotel.

i visited a museum during my lunch break and i was the only one in it. i thought the figurines were going to come to life and kill me.

1 more day 2 go, thank the Lord.

---
i would rarely say i pity anyone/anything. but this place just makes me feel so bad about it all. and then i feel bad for feeling that way. being here is not good for me.

small town life.

currently- i'm in a very very very small town (population ~11, 000) at the edge of Oregon and Idaho. i'm here for work. i don't think i'd ever choose to visit this place voluntarily. i'm only here for the week, i arrived on sunday but it feels like an eternity already. my first day at the clinic i am working at here, a lady asked me to have lunch with her. she said, "i'm going to the co-op to get a fresh salad, want to come with?" at this point, i had only seen the town at night and it didn't seem like much so i took her up on the offer and we drove off in her car. she told me she needed to run a few errands first, "okay" i said, i was already in the car. we stopped at the bank, then at the gas station. we used the drive-thru at the bank, and she told me to get out of the car at the gas station. we go inside and i realize: the fresh salad we're getting is from the gas station. don't get me wrong, i have nothing against gas stations or eating at them. but it wasn't what i expected. afterwards we were going to head back to the clinic when she said "let me give you a tour of the land" and i responded with "we only have about 15 minutes", "that's more than enough," she said. so i saw it all, monday the 14th of september between 12:44pm and 12:59pm. now i want to go back home. i'm not about the small town life. being here makes me so so so grateful i grew up in a city. it almost makes me a little sad at the thought of anyone living here for more than a week.

if you wondering, the gas station salad was the best thing i've eaten here so far. i need to go back soon.

True Story: The Case of the Broken Car Door Handle

I had to move my brother's car yesterday so the gardener could cut the bushes in the driveway.
When I go to open his car door, I see that the handle is broken.
I mentioned it to my dad today and he shared the reason why it is broken.
My brother used to be a pizza delivery guy for Pizza Hut.
One day he is delivering a pizza.
He gets out of the car to knock on the door and when he looks back at his car he realizes that it's still moving.
He had left the car un drive and it was moving towards the house.
He runs over to the car and in his desesperation to open the car door, he breaks the handle.
In the end, the car was stopped by a post near the house and his car door handle was broken
And yes, he did successfully deliver the pizza.
Pizza is life. 

we can't be models

so i retook the GREs today because i wasn't happy with my quantitative score the first time around. i've spent nearly 5 months studying several hours of math each week in order to raise my score--i didn't even bother to review other areas of the test.
and what happens!?!
my quantitative score drops by a couple points, and my verbal score SIGNIFICANTLY increases! like, nearly perfect score. wtf.
anyway...my goal in writing this blogpost was actually to tell you, my reader, about my modeling career. it's over.
i watched an episode of america's next top model after getting home, relaxing, etc. all these model candidates are between the ages of 18-23. i'm going to turn 23 in a couple of months, i can't be a model now. wtf. no one warned me of this.

Here comes the bride

I went to a wedding last weekend.
I didn't just go.
I was part of the bridal party.
My second time this year being a bridesmaid.
I love weddings.
They're magical.
It's at a point where the couple is blissfully together.
Romance abounds.
They're thinking of forever together.
And they love it.
They love each other.
Them against the world.
It's cute.
Plus there's always booze and food.
Plus dancing to cheesy music.
I love that.
However.
As much as I love weddings, I hate them too.
Weddings make you so very aware of your relationship status (aka single).
People start asking you when you plan to get married.
If you're in a relationship.
Oh wait, you're not? Don't worry it happens when you least expect it.
It's extremely annoying.
It's a love/hate relationship.

Our Father which art in Heaven

Sundays in my family mean one thing:  Church.
I was raised Protestant.
Well, I say Protestant because it's what fits the most in the sense that we are Christians but not Catholics and we don't specifically call ourselves anything.
If you ask my parents, they will say that they are Christ's children.
Anyway, I was raised Protestant.
My parents are the type that wake up early in the morning to pray.
They feel like it's important to go to church on Sundays.
To commune with God and hear His word.
I get it.
Don't get me wrong I have nothing against Church.
I think it's good.
I do.
Today, I didn't feel like going to Church though.
My mom forced me to.
My brother shared how he couldn't believe I wouldn't make time for God.
My father then chimed with if it was anything else I would wake up in a jiffy.
My mom accused me of being a rebel.
Her exact words were, "amaneciste insurrecta."
So I went to Church.
How perfectly rebel of me. 
This Church has a thing that after worship they allow for people to pray for each other's needs.
Today the pastor says that she wants couples with each other and the rest to find someone of the opposite sex to pray with because yes apparently.
I refused.
My father is all go go find someone.
Death stare from L.
So, mom says,  "let's pray the three of us."
So my father starts.
Prayers are funny in a way.
Prayer is about asking God for help.
So usually you pray for what you fear, feel.
Kind of what you want God to fix.
Help you with.
His prayer today was all about me.
He prayed for my future husband.
He prayed for God to ease my soul because the man of my life is already chosen by Him.
He prayed for me not to worry about it.
He also prayed for my spiritual well being.
He says that he can't judge how deep anyone's connection to God is.
But he judged anyway that I wasn't close enough to God and prayed for it.
His prayer was all about me.
Cause "amaneci insurrecta."
Apparently, I'm not Holy enough and are on the verge of suicide for lack of husband.
How nice.

re: no too early

My boss doesn't know I have a boyfriend, it just hasn't come up. Today she offhandedly made a comment about how I should be looking for a husband because she found hers at my age (22) while in med school. We were in an elevator going to a meeting, and I didn't fully register the comment until we got off the elevator. WTF.
People need to mind their own business.
Also, shouldn't someone have Other, Bigger Things to focus on in medical school?!
I am annoyed. I know that I'm not the best person to comment on this because I live with my boyfriend. I don't know how that happened or how we've been together this long. He is wonderful. But I don't like the idea of worrying about romance/marriage and shit, if it happens it happens and if it doesn't I love myself. That's good enough.

Realizations

I was talking to my sister yesterday and I realized that this year I will be 25 years old.

(Pause: Isn't a little crazy that we started this blog when I was 18?)

So this realization hit me like train.

Like a big crashing wave on the beach.

Like not very good news.

Up to this point in my life, I think I've done pretty well in certain aspects.

I have graduated high school and university.

I have a steady job in my field of study.

I have travelled a bit.

I have great friends

However.

Romantically?

I've sucked.

Sparsely dating is not a healthy romantic life.

Overall though I've done okay for myself.

Yesterday, as I realized that I would be 25 years old I made a decision.

Next year by this time (God willing), I will be moving out of my house.

It's something that I feel like I need to do for myself.

I've kept my promise to travel.

I hope I keep this promise too.

Hi, my name is L and I...

...cried when the NeverBeast had to go back to sleep in Tinker Bell and the Legend of the Never Beast.

...like binge watching Mako Mermaids on Netflix.

...have watched all the Monster High specials currently on Netflix.

...play Pokemon on a GBA and I feel emotionally committed to them. 

okbye.

In my dream bachelorette pad, my room is two- thirds bed and one-third wooden floor.

special paper

what's the deal with money? it's just paper we assign value too. why not sticky notes.

Parents just don't understand

My parents don't understand that the lips emoji is creepy and SHOULD NOT be used to signify a kiss.

My neighbors just sacrified a kid goat in their backyard.

Resolutions

New "Life Resolutions" -
1) Go on more trips (so far Portland, Austin, Bahamas, and Colombia are planned for this year)
2) Read Dune once a year (currently listening to the audiobook during my commute)

(UPDATE AS THEY COME)