Post-Grad Woes

Every college grad must go through the same period of uncertainty.

The time where you start to think about what you want to do now that school is over.

Nobody prepares you for it.

We've been in school for years.

Hell, I started school when I was one year old or so.

22 years of schooling.

22 years of my life revolving around something predictable.

I didn't have to wonder what I was going to do.

Finished elementary school?

No biggie, middle school is starting in a few months.

Same thing with high school and college.

I didn't have to make decisions.

They were just events that had to happen in a certain sequence at a certain time.

Now, it is all over.

I have to make decisions.

Decisions that I cannot make.

What do I want to do?

I honestly want to be irresponsible.

Travel the world.

Meet interesting people.

Make horrible decisions.

Work a menial job or two.

Be immature.

Nobody prepares you for this.

I wish they would.

Fuck Mondays

Mondays suck.

They just bring this sadness.

It feels like my life is over and it's back to reality.

What exactly is reality?

Waking up everyday at 0600 and sleeping at 2200.

If that doesn't sound like so much fun, it's because it isn't.

It isn't fun.

No fun for Laura.

I want to be a burrito of sadness.

Not see anyone for a little bit.

Not have to worry about anything.

Not have to deal with feelings, emotions, hormones.

Just be a cocoon of blankets.

In my cold, dark room.

Somehow this isn't seen as a socially acceptable course in life.

It should be.

At least for a little bit.

Just a tiny little bit.

I thought I was just feeling the Monday.

I now realize that I am not feeling the Monday.

I am feeling sad.

The sadness that I feel from time to time.

My sadness.

The overwhelming and dark sadness.

Why am I so sad?

I hate this.

I hate this so much.

I wish I could just hide.

Forever.